Undecided Voter

By Matt

Man, this president thing is haaarrdd. I didn’t know when is said I was a decider, I’d have to make so many … well … decisions. I thought this war stuff was gonna be easy. Least that’s what Dick and Condi and Rummy said.

“Just go in there and kick a little wimpy dictator butt and you’ll be a hero,” they said. I shoulda listeneded to Colin.

“Now people are makin’fun of me, sayin I talk funny an I’m dumb. It’s the difficultest thing in the world bein’president, but people don’ seem ta care. I tell ya, ma brain hurts …

Whoa wait a minute ... what’s going on here, I fell funny, like some East Coast liberial’s takin over mah body … Oh no, not him!!!!

This wah is a fahlly. Ah nevah shouldah voted fah it.

Now Kahl Rove’s slandering me all ovah the ahrwaves and the Swift Boaters are teahrin apaht my Vietnam Wah recahrd. Whay ah evah say I voted fahr the money bafahr ah voted against it? Whay does everyone say ah look like Lurch? Who is this Lurch fellah anywhay?

Oh look aht tha time. I need to get mah Botox and and mah haih done …

(OK- This probably deserves a little perspective. My last Halloween costume was as an undecided voter in the 2004 election. I took some license with that and entered the bodies of W and John Kerry.)