By Matt
A cuddly saltwater croc swung the sledgehammer with a vengeance while getting his freak on.
Now if you think this is the result of a mad hallucination brought about by some Australian wacky weed, you're wrong. It's actually a well-know fact that saltwater crocs love getting their freak on. Crocs DID invent the leisure suit.
This in contrast to freshwater crocs who spend all day wallowing in shallows waiting for errant dingoes. They're really dull - and mean.
But what about the sledgehammer you ask? Isn't it unusual to see crocs using tools? Not really, if you think about it. After all, don't they need to build places to live too. Despit their prehistoric appearance, saltwater crocs are quite skilled in the building trades. Why some of the world's finest stonemasons are actually crocodiles.
And the cuddly part? Well, who doesn't find a 15-foot, scaly predator with razor-sharp teeth, cute? Now go have some more of that wacky weed. Maybe you'll hallucinate about Jimmy Hoffa next. Maybe there'll be some teenagers.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Meeting Minutes
And now, the minutes from last night's No-Talent Hacks Meeting
(As remembered by Marcy the next morning over coffee...)
Date: June 28
Location: Allison's Abode
Hacks present: Allison, Matt, Dave, Marcy, Bryan
On The Menu: Baked Ziti, garlic bread, salad, peach pie, and of course, Guac.
First, we discussed Allison's pieces written for a writing contest. They had number-of-word limitations, but despite the rush induced into a story by a number-of-word limitation, they were nuggets of goodness. We all agreed that she is faboo and wanted to read the revised versions when she revises them for other contests with less constricting number-of-word limitations.
Oliver the cat joined us and soaked up a lot of attention.
We then discussed the coming year of Hackdom, and outlined a plan of attack. Expect to see new things on this blog; the Hacks have tested the waters of blogdom since the creation of this blog, and now we're ready to jump into the pool and play Marco Polo.
We finished off the meeting with an in-class writing assignment that created much hilarity... some of which will be appearing here on the blog. We picked out of three envelopes; one had subjects, the next had an action, and the last had a 'result'. These three sentence fragments formed the first sentence of our stories. Look for these stories in subsequent posts.
That's all for this meetin' folks...stay tuned for great new things on this blog...
(As remembered by Marcy the next morning over coffee...)
Date: June 28
Location: Allison's Abode
Hacks present: Allison, Matt, Dave, Marcy, Bryan
On The Menu: Baked Ziti, garlic bread, salad, peach pie, and of course, Guac.
First, we discussed Allison's pieces written for a writing contest. They had number-of-word limitations, but despite the rush induced into a story by a number-of-word limitation, they were nuggets of goodness. We all agreed that she is faboo and wanted to read the revised versions when she revises them for other contests with less constricting number-of-word limitations.
Oliver the cat joined us and soaked up a lot of attention.
We then discussed the coming year of Hackdom, and outlined a plan of attack. Expect to see new things on this blog; the Hacks have tested the waters of blogdom since the creation of this blog, and now we're ready to jump into the pool and play Marco Polo.
We finished off the meeting with an in-class writing assignment that created much hilarity... some of which will be appearing here on the blog. We picked out of three envelopes; one had subjects, the next had an action, and the last had a 'result'. These three sentence fragments formed the first sentence of our stories. Look for these stories in subsequent posts.
That's all for this meetin' folks...stay tuned for great new things on this blog...
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Why, Teela?
By Marcy
(I will warn our fearless Hack readers right now – this post is riddled with geekdom. Read at your own risk!)
When I was a kid, I was the only girl in my class who liked He-Man and Star Wars. At recess, I always got to be either Princess Leia or Teela, depending on what the boys wanted to play that day. All of the other girls hung out at the swing sets - not me. The jungle gym was the Millennium Falcon, or Castle Greyskull. And I was the token female. It was the good life.
Princess Leia was my absolute idol. She was feisty, fearless, and a cosmic beauty. I still want to be her every time I watch the Star Wars Trilogy. (There’s only one trilogy in my book. And there’s no such thing as Midichlorians, and Greedo most CERTAINLY did not shoot first. But I digress…) And Teela was the coolest too - she fought along side He-man and Man-At-Arms. She kicked butt with a staff, and a sword, and a blaster. She was the red-head captain of the guard in underoos and a tiara, who never backed down to Skeletor and his goons.
Or so I thought.
Fast-forward to this weekend, with birthday money well spent on the whole first season of He-Man on DVD. I’m re-living my childhood as I’m sketching out my own graphic novel from the comfort of my couch. And as the shows progress, it comes to my attention that Teela – the ass-kicking chick of my memory – is a complete fraud!!
Yes, she’s strong-willed. She trash talks Skeletor and Beast Man. She never obeys when Man-At-Arms or He-man tell her to stay put. But when there’s a fight – she does nothing!! My childhood self remembers her being more like Xena, or Leia – fierce with a weapon. In the frey of every battle. But having watched the first two discs (there are twelve total – 68 episodes!!) of this first season collection, I’m feeling like Teela has let me down. Every fight she’s been in so far, she’s been disarmed, and she spends the rest of the fight on the fringes with a worried look on her face, yelling “He-Man – look out!”
Granted, this is early ‘80’s animation. The backgrounds are looped, and lets get real for a second: He-Man wears fur underwear and rides a cat with a saddle. I am fully aware that the show is dated and doofy. But it holds up for me in entertainment value, if sentimentally. I still can’t help but feel, however, that Teela has let me down after all these years. Hopefully I will be proven wrong in the next few discs.
Maybe this letdown is because I started reading Tamora Pierce’s “Protector of the Small” books, in which the heroine is a ten-year-old girl who stands her own ground in training to be a knight. I can’t help think what Teela would do in Kel’s situation…stand on the sidelines and cry for He-man? Food for thought, as I continue to watch the DVD’s and read book two of the “Protector of the Small series.”
Which leads me to ask this question of our Hack fans (if any) – as female readers, what is it you look for in a heroine? And what heroines from your childhood still hold up for you today? Let me know in comments on this blog.
Over and out.
Marcy
(I will warn our fearless Hack readers right now – this post is riddled with geekdom. Read at your own risk!)
When I was a kid, I was the only girl in my class who liked He-Man and Star Wars. At recess, I always got to be either Princess Leia or Teela, depending on what the boys wanted to play that day. All of the other girls hung out at the swing sets - not me. The jungle gym was the Millennium Falcon, or Castle Greyskull. And I was the token female. It was the good life.
Princess Leia was my absolute idol. She was feisty, fearless, and a cosmic beauty. I still want to be her every time I watch the Star Wars Trilogy. (There’s only one trilogy in my book. And there’s no such thing as Midichlorians, and Greedo most CERTAINLY did not shoot first. But I digress…) And Teela was the coolest too - she fought along side He-man and Man-At-Arms. She kicked butt with a staff, and a sword, and a blaster. She was the red-head captain of the guard in underoos and a tiara, who never backed down to Skeletor and his goons.
Or so I thought.
Fast-forward to this weekend, with birthday money well spent on the whole first season of He-Man on DVD. I’m re-living my childhood as I’m sketching out my own graphic novel from the comfort of my couch. And as the shows progress, it comes to my attention that Teela – the ass-kicking chick of my memory – is a complete fraud!!
Yes, she’s strong-willed. She trash talks Skeletor and Beast Man. She never obeys when Man-At-Arms or He-man tell her to stay put. But when there’s a fight – she does nothing!! My childhood self remembers her being more like Xena, or Leia – fierce with a weapon. In the frey of every battle. But having watched the first two discs (there are twelve total – 68 episodes!!) of this first season collection, I’m feeling like Teela has let me down. Every fight she’s been in so far, she’s been disarmed, and she spends the rest of the fight on the fringes with a worried look on her face, yelling “He-Man – look out!”
Granted, this is early ‘80’s animation. The backgrounds are looped, and lets get real for a second: He-Man wears fur underwear and rides a cat with a saddle. I am fully aware that the show is dated and doofy. But it holds up for me in entertainment value, if sentimentally. I still can’t help but feel, however, that Teela has let me down after all these years. Hopefully I will be proven wrong in the next few discs.
Maybe this letdown is because I started reading Tamora Pierce’s “Protector of the Small” books, in which the heroine is a ten-year-old girl who stands her own ground in training to be a knight. I can’t help think what Teela would do in Kel’s situation…stand on the sidelines and cry for He-man? Food for thought, as I continue to watch the DVD’s and read book two of the “Protector of the Small series.”
Which leads me to ask this question of our Hack fans (if any) – as female readers, what is it you look for in a heroine? And what heroines from your childhood still hold up for you today? Let me know in comments on this blog.
Over and out.
Marcy
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