Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Oh, Reality

by Marcy

Everyone was sick and tired of Eddie Glug, but try as they might they could not get him to
trip up and do something stupid.  Annoying he was, and rank smelly, but he was a smart player with no scruples.  He was made for reality television, and he was the person on the show that everyone - on the show with him or at home watching - loved to hate.

Eddie was manipulative.  He wooed Charice in the first three episodes just to turn on her when she lost the mud race challenge in episode four.  And you would think that his betrayal of Charice would have set off alarms for Bran and Alyssa, his closest cohorts in the tribe, but he outsmarted each of them in turn to win immunity and eventually lead to their being voted off.  The others tried to gain his trust in an attempt to figure out his motives, but he cut them down with his strategies week by week, one by one.  They had been on the deserted island twenty-five days, and Eddie still had yet to take a bath or shower.  Rhonda was convinced he had something growing out of his toes.  She never got the chance to investigate it, as she was booted off the island on the fifteenth day.

On day thirty one there were three people left; Eddie, Martin, and Kataya.  In an unprecedented three-way tie, all three had immunity necklaces and therefore could not be voted off.  The rules of the game stated that should a stalemate like this occur, the remaining contestants must stay on the island as long as possible, and the last one to leave the island would be crowned the victor.  Kataya was sunburned and starving, and Martin had sprained his ankle in the last challenge wherein he won his immunity.  Eddie, aside from his toe fungus, was still intact and completely convinced of his victory.  After fifty-four days, Kataya finally gave in to the elements and begged to be removed from the island.  Martin and Eddie were the only ones left.  

The viewers at home were rapt with attention as the show moved into day fifty-four.  How long would they last?  And who were they rooting for at this point?  Eddie had played an incredible game, and the viewers at home had seen his masterful manipulation of the game unfold from the comfort of their own couches.  But Martin had played true.  He was the good guy.  But still, Eddie was captivating.

Week seventy-two finally saw a victor, in the form of a poisonous marple snake who took both Eddie and Martin in their sleep.  It was the highest rated and most critically panned episode of reality television to date.  Until next season when Bret Michaels attempts the same game on the same island with a group of crazy half naked former strippers in search of attention and 15 minutes of fame.  


Playonwards said...

Oh yeah. Reality TV needs more poisonous reptiles.


The No Talent Hacks said...

There are lots - on Rock of Love!
:-) MarSea