Friday, March 02, 2007

Lyle Koontz Jr.

Journal Entry #1, fifth try, day one of the weirdness

You know the guy. The exposed beer belly with a huge team colored letter blanketing its sweaty girth, drunk out of his mind and screaming incoherent accolades over the top of his sloshing plastic cup. The dude, who posts video of himself mixing a brew of Mentos and Diet Coke in his own mouth, then tries to sweet talk the ladies while foaming at the mouth. The guy who proves that the idiot with the loudest voice makes the poorest choice? You know that sociopath. Of course, I know him too. Lyle Koontz Jr.; he’s me.

Why am I writing this down instead of talking to my fellow Chino townies? Good question! Good question. Funny thing about that… So, last night after a six glasses of whatever was on tap and on special followed by a dare from one of my gang of fellow idiots at the Lush Pub I found myself on the bluff overlooking the sprawling town of Chino. To be honest I blacked out when I got to the top of the water tower, but I woke up with a hundred feet of bungee cord a gallon of white glue and a pink frilly dress stuffed in a paper grocery bag. Not a big deal, at least this time there were no animals. What I think woke me was the silence.

You never notice the little sounds of the city. The hundreds of car engines running, feet walking, doors closing, conversations, construction work – even the hum of the lights – it all makes noise and the absence of it – the totally unexpected and hortastically awful overwhelmingly absoluteness of it. I could hear myself breathe and the sound felt like trespassing. I have to go down there and find out what happened. I can’t just eat the glue; I tried, loses its appeal after kindergarten. So, here I go. Gonna head down and see just what the hell happened last night. Yup. Gonna go. Any minute now.




Bryan Mahoney said...

WOW - great intro to ... something .. but what?? This would be a great candidate for a series of journal entries that, in themselves, become one longer short-story. Keep the non-standard metaphor coming: the glue shtick is brilliant!

Dory said...

People should read this.

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