Saturday, April 07, 2007

Steel Bass

Now, it ain’t like I ain’t woke up in some strange place afore. I mean one time me and Zeke got into some bad shine and we both woked up so far down the Mississippi that they ain’t never heard of Canada! Had to work the river boat all year to get back to my shack.

Well it’s a looking like that weren’t nothing. See me and Zeke was pitching woo with these two gals at the inn who spoke all this strange gibberish, but they was purty as all get out and next thing I know Zeke is saying we should follow them to this boat. Me, I like boats and I like the purty gals so I says to Zeke that that was a fine idear.

It was not.

So this was about the time I met Peter. He said his name all funny, but he’s a Peter. I knowd it right off. So, Peter was on the boat what the purty girls took us too and his job was to clobber us something awful so that we was asleep when the boat leaved for far away. Peter is a big guy and he clobbered me good, but he clobbered Zeke better and Zeke never woked up. I could tell Peter was all broke up about it, which did nothing to bring Zeke back, but you gotta give a fella a little break if he feels broke up about making a mistake like that. I hurt a fella or two in my time and felt a lot of hurt on the inside about it.

So we all had this boat trip for a long time which wasn’t too bad. There was other bodies aboard that there boat, but they mostly kept to themselves. Work on the boat was damn near a holiday compared to working on the river! And one of them pretty girls spent a night or two with me which made the whole thing a damn site better. Oh, she smelled purty.

When the boat gets close to land I started to scratch my head cause the beach don’t look right. The two purty girls and Peter have a long chin wag about something in their gibberish and the girls looks ascared of something.

I ain't one to drag a tale on too long, so lets just say that a lot of these gibberers pull up in another big boat - they all weared the same color coat like they was in the army, but the colors was all wrong. They grabbed us all and they was yelling and shouting and pushing and one them laid a hand on my purty girl which made me fly all into a rage of course.

Now I live in this cage that they call the steel bass or something like that. It don’t look like a fish, but its sure got plenty of iron in the bars. Now I been in the pokey before, the thing of it is they usually feed you pretty regular. This place ain’t run so good. Plus there’s all this gibberish yelling outside which keep me from sleeping regular.

All that being said, I think things are settling down for me now. I am behind bars and that don’t usually change too fast. The crazy folks outside are all yelling about turning things or revolutions or something, but I don’t much care. I’m just gonna settle in and relax for a while, maybe Peter will teach me some gibberish to pass the time.



Brihack said...
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Marcy L. Dewey said...

Dude - I am really slow today. I didn't get the "Steel Bass" at first - mainly becuase the voice of your character was so strong I was completley missing the point of the oddity that happened. Upon second reading and an afternoon sugar rush (mmm - pop tarts!) I get it now! Good stuff!!! (your story - and the pop tarts!)